Naked to the Bullet'
by Kumiko Mishitate
Summary: Minako's afterthoughs after getting raped. WARNING: Contains Adult Situations!


'Naked to the Bullet'  
  
by moon-neko-princess  
  
I stumble into my room, feeling weak, ashamed, but more so, humiliated. I drop the black item in my hand and I feel my legs go weak as I collapse on the floor, crying. My eyes go blurry as I remember the events that took place only hours before.   
  
'Why me?'   
  
I hastily take off my wet school blouse feeling disgusted with it on. I fumble with the button of my skirt while trying to take it off but wind up screaming in frustration. I rip the skirt off my body, leaving me next to naked in my undergarments.   
  
'I feel cold.'   
  
I cry. I sob and sob until my cheeks burn fiercely from the pain, marked with trails of salty tears.   
  
'It's not fair.'   
  
My whole body collapses on the wooden floor and I wince in pain as contact is made to the disgustingly huge, blue bruises on my rib cage.   
  
....I remember getting thrown into the stone wall before landing on the cold, cement ground...   
  
I slowly open my eyes as I try to get up but fail. I cough and vomit due to the prior events.   
  
....Again, I recall being kicked in the stomach multiple times and elbowed in the back after I fulfiled my usefulness...   
  
I groan at the thought.   
  
'What have I done to deserve this?'   
  
I stare at the blood on the floor.   
  
Maybe this was a sign.   
  
'A sign?'   
  
A sign to tell me that I don't deserve to live anymore. God couldn't think of any destiny to give me so he just let me unwillingly become a man's sex tool. Right?   
  
'Right.'   
  
I hear my sobbing quieting down all though I continue to moan inside. I have trouble breathing due to being strangled for so long.   
  
....That man- That man tried to- he tried to kill me...   
  
I breath harshly while massaging the red marks on my neck.   
  
....He put me against a cold wall, and strangled me with one hand while slapping me, hitting me to death...   
  
I cough.   
  
I choke.   
  
And I gag again.   
  
*I have a headache. I feel a bumb on my head and my cheeks sting.  
  
'What happened? Where am I?'  
  
'I'm naked'  
  
I realize that and I try to cover myself but I'm unsuccessful.  
  
'Who are you?'  
  
I glare at the big, 6' foot man walking towards me with his face remaining in the unknown with shadows covering his face.  
  
He smiles.  
  
'What going on?'  
  
I back away from him realizing I'm on a bed. He climbs on the bed, still wearing his disgusting smile.  
  
He tells me to stay still and climbs over me and puts his face 3 inches away from mine.  
  
'Oh no!'  
  
I realize what he wants of me. What he's going to do of me. I can't let that happen to me!  
  
I stuggle, I kicked with my legs and try to punch with my fists with he grabs me and stops me. I scream as loud as I can but he muffles my voice by putting an old pillow on my face, hard.  
  
'I can't breath, I can't see. What's is he doing?'   
  
I feel myself blacking out and I know he feels it too. He releases his grip on me and I want to punch him, slap him, anything to get this guy off me, but I feel weak from my lack of air.   
  
He grabs my arm once more and I feel a painful prick. It hurts, whatever it is, it hurts.   
  
I feel the drug going through my veins and into my bloodstream.  
  
'Why?'  
  
He removes the pillow and I gasp for air. My body is shaking. I feel my temperature rise considerably high and my breathing becomes harsh.  
  
He puts his mouth on mine and kisses me while putting all his weight on me.   
  
'Stop it. It hurts. Please...'  
  
My body can hardly move. I feel paralyzed. I feel limp.   
  
I cry as he gets off me to place himself inside of me.  
  
'No! Stop it! Please, stop it...'  
  
I try to close my legs but he puts them apart easily.   
  
I scream, wishing that someone could hear me, but he slaps me three times trying to shut me up.   
  
He grins.... and he enters me.  
  
I cry from the pain. The pain is unbearable. I can't take it.   
  
'Stop it! Stop it! It hurts... Stop!!'  
  
And then the drug consumes me and I black out, leaving the rapist to do as he pleases.*  
  
'Why am I such a coward; a wimp, a weak creature who can't even defend herself from one man. ONE!'   
  
I bash my fists against the floor covered with vomit and blood while I continue to insult myself.   
  
I stop.   
  
I shiver.   
  
I touch my blood and realize it's warm. I crawl forward a little and sleep in my blood. It's warmth making me warm...   
  
....But it doesn't last long.   
  
* I stare with wide eyes as the man loads his gun with three, four, no five bullets, and realize that this man, who had just finished taking my virginity, was preparing to kill me. I silently scream loudly, searching for a way to escape but I only see the door- which is behind the- the- the rapist.   
  
'Would he notice me?'   
  
I stealthily slide off the bed and tip-toe towards his back.   
  
'I need a distraction.'   
  
I look around only to come back to see a gun touching my forehead.   
  
I freeze in fear.   
  
'What do I do? Am I going to die? Like this?' I try not to give this man the pleasure of seeing his victim cry in pain again.   
  
I watch the man grin evilly as he mumbles three words.   
  
Prepare to Die...   
  
And a clasp of thunder flashes by and distracts the rapist and I see my chance. I punch him hard in the nose, most likely breaking it, and I yank his gun away from him. I see my clothes on a chair behind him and ask him, politely, to give them back- or else I'll shoot him.   
  
He grins and I step two steps back. He painfully walks to me while I hold my gun in the air pointed towards him, and he leans to my ear to whisper something. I barely make out him telling me that I don't have the guts to shoot a human being and that I couldn't live with it. It would haunt me for the rest of my life and...   
  
I look with a shocked face and a shaking body as I see the rapist on the floor in a pool of blood. I clutch the gun as I look away, finding the scene unbearable to look at. I go around him and hastily put my school uniform on, not daring to see if the man was still alive or not. I rush out of the room by the door and wind up in the rain.   
  
I walk for one minute before losing control and break off into a run...still holding the gun in my hand.*   
  
I wake up in my now cold, crimson blood. I grimace from the horrifying flashback I have just recieved.   
  
I get up, suddenly finding strength in my body and walk over to my lengthy mirror.   
  
I stifle a tear from coming down as I see the marks and bruises on my face and body.   
  
My cerulean eyes become blurry once more as I see my now blood stained hair. Now a dirty red color instead of pale blond.   
  
'Do I deserve to live? Do I really? Now that I have been soiled with this evil- I don't know if I can do it anymore- Not after this.'   
  
My fingers go to my face and touch the bruise that has appeared around my left eye. I wince and crouch down at the sensitivity of the bruise. Tears fall out as I realize how ugly I am.   
  
'I don't deserve to live. Nothing this ugly should have to live on this planet. I should die!'   
  
I sit cross-legged in front of the mirror and continue to say all my defaults.   
  
'My eyes are too wide apart. My hair is so pale that its appalling! I hate it!' I try to rip it out but fail at it realizing its not worth it. I'll look even more hideous.   
  
'My skin is too white. I look like a vampire! And- and my hands- my fingers are too stubby, and my legs are too long, and my breasts are too large and- and- and- EVERYTHING ABOUT ME IS UGLY!!'   
  
I stomp my feet against the wooden floor as I continuously yell out to no one but my self on how much I hate my body, my looks, my personality, myself!.   
  
And I crack...   
  
'I want to die. I need to die. I deserve to die.'   
  
I look around for something dangerous, something to help me on my mission to end my life, and my eyes fall on the black item near the door. I approach it and take the gun in my hands.   
  
I crawl to the wall facing opposite the mirror so I can watch myself dying.   
  
I stare at the gun with my fingers entwined around it and then I glance at myself in the mirror.   
  
I see that my hair is still in its regular hairstyle and I realize that I hate that also. I pull out the unessential decoration and throw it the pile of 'dirty' clothes. Just a symbol of pathetic dreams...  
  
'I look so dirty. I 'feel' dirty. I don't want to be dirty. So I- I have to end this... So I won't be dirty anymore.'   
  
I close my eyes for the last time...   
  
I put the gun to my temple...   
  
I inhale my last breath...   
  
'Good-bye... Artemis...'   
  
....And I pull the trigger... 


End file.
